It’s the time of year again for artery-clogging pumpkin pie, toddlers in plasticky Costco costumes and debilitating coloured contact lenses. Yes, Halloween: that scariest of all seasons.
For business owners, the likes of horror films, axe-wielding fiends and things that go thump in the night are child’s play. Know what is truly frightening?
Real-life business, that’s what!
Dredged freshly from the MetCredit morgue, here are four of the scariest horror stories you’re likely to ever hear, made concise for sleep-deprived business readers:
The Customers Who Ghost You
What is more horrifying than a bloodied hook hanging from the handle of your car door? Try having to kiss goodbye the proceeds of a sale to which you devoted considerable resources—then having to forfeit staff pay raises or shareholder dividends and vacations because of the loss. What if that overdue account (or several others) never, ever got paid? Customers who ghost really DO roam the earth. Woo-ee-oo—scary!
A Knife in the Back
Make no mistake: debt collection is a precise and delicate art. If managed with blunt instruments, the consequences can include serious reputation damage, potentially manifesting in knife and dagger wounds long after the original debt should have been paid up and forgotten. Take brand reputation management seriously, and handle debt recovery situations with care. Or, to be prudent, let an ethical collections professional do it for you—returning your skills to the realm in which they are most productive.
Psycho Customer
Business relationships often start out exciting and cordial. But soon, as with the rising of a bad moon, things become… different. Eyes dart to the shadows. Lips twitch and fingers twiddle. The once-pleasant customer begins to speak in what seem foreign tongues. Your product, delivered as promised, is hungrily consumed, yet your mailbox remains vacant. When you ask why, the psycho customer offers no sensible reply: just mumblings, the snapping of latex and the glare of hollow eyes. The time is nigh for would-be survivors to turn metaphysical problems to a professional exorcist, and financial ones to an equally adept debt collection agency.
Zombie Debt Revolution
Some may believe bad debt strikes only the deserving, but not always so. Someone else’s zombie receivables problem in a far-off corner of your industry can lurch and drag its way to your once-peaceful doorstep, where it manifests as YOUR worst nightmare. A good collection agency is like industrial-strength zombie-debt repellant. Keep your brains—and your accounts receivable—safe!
Got scary business tales of your own? I’d love to hear them, and to offer pro help to put an end to your fears. Or for even more ghoulish business legends (each with a moral), be sure to check out my Collection Agency Horror Stories from years gone by. Includes video!
President and CEO of MetCredit, Canada's top-performing consumer and commercial collection agency
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